Tips for long-distance relationships


People have a belief that long-distance relationships can never work out or even last long. A lot of family members and friends most times kick against it as they feel it doesn't give room for transparency and trust. It isn't going to be an easy one but long-distance relationships can work. It's dependent on the mindset of the couple in the relationship.

Long Distance Relationships known as LDR, can be quite difficult to cope with if you're in one. There are days that we need our partners around us for support but they wouldn't be available. This article would help highlight tips on how to improve your LDR if you're in one and how to make it start well if you're about to.

Tip One: Communicate effectively

Even in relationships that are not long-distance, communication between both parties must be effective. Understand your partner and know what kind of communication they would prefer. If your partner loves calls it would be ineffective to keep texting them as they would feel unloved at some point. You don't have to talk every hour of the day except for when necessary. But ensure that you're always understanding with your partner and you're calm to let them talk about their feelings while you also talk about yours. Sometimes you could just give them a random video call or send a gift over if they would love it. But ensure that communication is effective.

Tip Two: Be accountable

Accountability is very important in a long-distance relationship since your partner isn't there physically with you, you need to give them the feeling that they are involved in your life, you have an appointment or a party to attend, tell them about it. Seek their opinions when making a decision, tell them when you're doubting something. Ensure that you're not doing suspicious things that could make them worried or start having doubts about your sincerity. Don't put yourself in controversial situations or hang out with your ex or someone who has an interest in you because you feel lonely or need company. Entering a long-distance relationship will take a lot of commitment and understanding and you can't afford to jeopardize that because of a temporary feeling of needing someone around. Accountability and vulnerability with your partner would help you see a lot differently and act appropriately.

Tip Three: Have a goal to achieve together

The result of your relationship is to settle down and have children and if your partner isn't thinking this way then you might need to have a rethink of what you're doing in a long-distance relationship, you can't be in a relationship forever. Have plans of the future together and subsequently bring up matters that are important to your future together and talk about it. In this way, you would be able to find out if they have plans to marry you. Draw an estimated time that you both are looking forward to marrying. 

You must be on the same page and understanding with your partner regarding this because sometimes when you get tired, this is one of the things that can serve as a source of motivation to you and help you keep going. Find a mutual ground of motivation between you and your partner, it would help in the long run.

Tip Four: Understand each other's personalities

You can't always have the same interests as your partner, you need to be extra understanding in long-distance relationships because there is no physical contact. If your partner is displeased about something they may still hide it and you might not even notice. You need extra attention because it might not feel like you should still date them on some days but you need to understand and refer back to why you wanted to be in a relationship with them in the first place.

There also has to be an emphasis on understanding their love language(s) for your LDR to thrive well, know what can make your partner feel loved up and what can piss them off. If your partner likes quality time and you keep sending her gifts she might not appreciate it as much as if you create time out of your schedule for her and you just show up once a while in every hour to check up on her. Love languages matter very well in long-distance relationships.

Tip Five: You can plan a surprise for them

Everyone likes surprises except if your partner doesn't, but if they do, you can surprise them with a visit, plan a random surprise with their friends, they do not have to even be celebrating something, it could just be a spontaneous idea and it would make them feel loved and valued in your life. You need all the positivity that you can get to keep your long-distance relationship alive because the waiting can be tiring and all. You need to creatively think of things you can surprise them with and you could take some time off to spend time with them as well as enjoy their company.

You might not do all these things but find out what works for you and your partner and understand what their needs and wants are. LDRs can sometimes be lonely but you need to constantly remind yourselves about your marriage plans and what the future holds. Be thankful that you have them in your life and the little things and sacrifices that they make. Let them know that you see all that they do for you and you don't take it for granted. Appreciate them when you have the opportunity, you can send handwritten letters, send cute SMS every day if possible. Just ensure that they are involved in your life as you would love to be in theirs.

Long-distance relationships can last if we put in effort, understanding, love, dedication, and commitment. It can turn out to be the most beautiful thing ever as long as both of you are ready to put all it takes to make it work.

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