Asking a guy out is an unfamiliar topic for females, most especially African women. This is largely due to the fact it is perceived that it is the man's job to make the first move in the relationship. Well in recent years, things have been tilted towards equality in that respect, with women now asking men out and even some proposing to their man. But it's not all that easy to take this route as things have to be in place before such a girl can take that action. It is never really easy, but it's very much possible to have a great relationship even if it started like this.
The first thing to consider before asking a guy out is to check his level of maturity and sense of reasoning. This is because, he should be able to still treat the girl with respect and dignity, not thinking of her as shallow and cheap. He should know that it takes a lot of courage to ask a guy out and should respect her more for that. As a girl, you must take a comprehensive scope and study of the guy you are about to ask out and not just look at it from one side. If a girl asks a guy out because of his financial status or just his good looks, chances that the relationship doesn't last are increased tremendously.
Another point to denote in the process of asking a guy out is if he is worth the stress. To ask a guy out, the lady has to be humble and be lowly, at the same time showing how special she is. So the guy knows that dating her would be a big plus for him, but for all this showing off your good attributes, it could be stressful and there would be instances she would have to go out of her way to look extra responsible and special. It is often advised to be yourself around people you like because they would eventually see that part of you but some decide to hide that part and he gets distorted when he eventually sees your full self. So always show him how great you are, but being yourself shows who you are already. If there are bad habits that you know might be red flags, try to work on those too.
Always ask people close to him or people that know him, things about him before going through with asking him out. This very reason is why asking someone out on social media is not safe, because the way he relates with you on social media could be different from him in real life. When asking about him, trying to sound random but direct, this is to mask your true intentions for asking about him rather than letting people know you like him. It is also important to always ask more than one person because not all friends are true friends, some might say bad things about him or cook up stories about him, so ask at least 5 to 7 people about him before forging ahead.
One thing that is important when asking a guy out, is to know what you stand to gain from dating him. What would be the goal, is he a marriage material or is it just a relationship for the moment, can he at least take care of your needs, is he capable of showing great love and care. This and more are probing questions to be asked. He might be good outside or at first glance but study more, what are you lacking that you might gain from him. If you can't list at least 5 to 10 things you stand to gain from him then he really might not be worth it.
Liking and wanting to ask a guy out is one thing, him seeing you in that light is a different thing. This is where mutual friends could come in, the ones you trust not to tell him just yet because they could help you find out if he likes you or see you as the dateable type. Even if he doesn't see you in that way now, your mutual could help you put of you in his head and he might ask you out before you do. So always confirm feelings before going through because a negative answer could be devastating.
Asking a guy out denotes a strong woman, so try to sound direct and sincere when asking him out. Do not sound weak or cheap when asking him. Chances are that he would do research about you if you ask him out, so clarify things that might make you look bad so he doesn't get to judge you in a bad way. Show you are a strong capable, independent woman and that he is the lucky one. If he intimidates you, then don't ask him rather try to eliminate that feeling first, because you would be scared of him in the relationship rather than enjoy it.
It is modern-day, so a girl asking a guy out could be termed as a norm, even though our African setting suggests otherwise, we should know that we are all growing and gender equality has been the talk of many so as much as it is a guy's duty, girls could also do it if they feel obliged to do so. As a guy that a full culpable girl ask out, look at her with extreme respect and dignity, if you like her, date her but if you don't see her like that, tell her no in the sweetest way possible, give her reasons why you saying no and at least ask to be her friend too.
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