Kelvin couldn't explain the change in his relationship, his love story was one written by the angels themselves-sweet and perfect. It started 6 months ago when Christabel walked into his office to inquire, it was love at first sight. It was such a perfect relationship, they couldn't get enough of themselves, and Kelvin couldn't believe his luck. Christabel was everything he ever want in a woman but all that has changed now. He seems to have enough of her already and suddenly didn’t find her as exciting as before. Kelvin feels all the rushing emotions and feeling that comes with Christabel's presence are gone. Was this love or something familiar?
Love is a beautiful thing they say but, it can become ugly if you don’t define it at the start to be such it is love and not some other familiar emotion - familiar emotion like infatuation. When human emotion is involved, many times we put off our reasoning hat and just flow with our emotion and end up with broken hearts and expectations. It is important to define what we feel at first before considering a relationship with anyone. You should ask yourself, “is it love or infatuation?” this will save everyone a whole lot of issues.
Defining feelings in a relationship is usually a difficult thing for some people because what separates love from infatuation is just a tiny line. Also because love and infatuation are both strong emotions.
Love is an intense affection for another person. Love is one of the strongest emotions on earth, it involves intimacy, commitment, and passion. Love requires care, trust, affection, attraction, and a whole lot.
Infatuation is a strong short-lived extreme attraction to someone. It is usually very quick and extravagant. Infatuation ends as quickly as it comes and in some rare cases, it takes months or even a year to end.
Though love and infatuation are both strong emotions when you look beyond the surface and the ‘butterfly in the stomach feeling, you would realize that they differ in nature and you could tell between love and infatuation. Here are 10 ways to know if it is love or infatuation;
Love takes a gradual process, Infatuation is instant
Love is beyond the feeling hence, it takes a process to blossom. Love does not happen suddenly, Fogel Mercy said loving someone means knowing them. Love is a form of intimacy and intimacy requires being known and seen. It takes time to get to know someone. This doesn't mean you need forever to know it, love, Love involves a process unlike infatuation that instant. Infatuation doesn't require any process, it just happens.
Infatuation is physical, Love is deeper
Infatuation focuses more on physical attraction unfortunately, physical attractiveness and desire are fleeting. Most times, infatuation is tilted toward sex and what it stands to gain and would leave when the physical attractions are gone or satisfied. Love on the other hand craves a deeper connection beyond the physical. It involves a deep understanding and acceptance of who both partners are.
Infatuation is blind, Love is not!
You might have heard people say love is blind however, it is the other way round-Infatuation is blind! Infatuation turns its face from the flaws of its partner. It is just obsessed with the physical and blinds' its eyes to the bad side even when family and friends point them out. Love does not turn blind eyes to the bad side of its partner, it finds ways to help. You cannot love a person and ignore their bad sides.
Love forgives flaws, Infatuation expects perfection
Love accepts and forgives the flaws of its partner because it knows and understands that it is not perfect. Love gives room for correction and learning. Inflation thrives on perfection- it is only on the side of perfection, hence there would be pretense in the relationship.
Love is commitment, infatuation gives excuses
One of the characteristics of love is commitment, it stays faithful to the course of the relationship. Love puts effort into making the relationship work. Love works issues out. Infatuation ‘chicken out’ switches feelings at the sight of issues.
Love grows stronger with time, Infatuation grows weaker
Time is the test for all emotions. When love and emotion are tested with time, the result comes out differently. Love blossoms with time-as you get to know and understand the person better. Infatuation recedes with time because it is attracted only to the physical. As the attractions reduce, so does infatuation until it finally dies.
Love thrives on friendship, Infatuation thrives on desire
Friendship is the base on which love grows while desire is the base on which infatuation grows. Friendship is getting to know the person, understanding, and working together to bring out the best in one another fuels love and makes it stronger. Infatuation on the other hand is fueled by desire-wanting to have the person. Once the desire dies infatuation also dies; little wonder it is short-lived.
Love is calm, infatuation is obsessive
Love is calm with his partner. Love doesn't hurry or do things to disrupt his partner. Love gives the chance to live one’s life. Inflation is consumption, it thinks helplessly about the partner, sulks, leaves no space to live one’s life, and its actions taken are loaded with adrenaline pull.
Infatuation is Selfish, Love is not
Infatuation looks for its interest, it makes everything about it and how it favors it. It does not look at the interest of its partner. Infatuation switches feelings or loses interest when its wishes are not met. Love thinks about the interest of its partner and protects it. It put the need of its partner before taking certain actions and does not impose its wishes.
Infatuation is short-lived, Love is long term
Infatuation and love can be likened to a firework and calm fire. Infatuation is the firework while love is the campfire. The firework is very bright and attractive but burns all at once while the campfire takes its time to burn.
Are you in love or infatuated? Whatever your answer is, it is not a bad place to be. Start by being sincere with yourself, then you can take action to have the best love life. Love is a beautiful thing, and it is worth intentionality.
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