How to define relationship, part 2


In this age and time, the term relationship has been somewhat abused or better still misunderstood. A relationship is when two or more people decide to be inclusive or exclusively together in the context of dating or courtship. Though we now have cases of same sex of people marrying themselves, it does seem irrelevant as such marriages usually end in shambles. As stated above, relationships are usually misunderstood which brings about the need to fully define every single relationship. The 'Go' with the flow kind of relationship usually ends up in heartbreak for one or all involved in the relationship. Though we now have a tri relationship (where three people are dating each other), the case study would be discussed by relationships, (where just two people are involved with each other).

Firstly, when you get into a situation with a person where dating seems palpable, it's quite easy to get swept off your feet and get into the flow without fully knowing the true intention of the person. This issue affects both genders. One easy way to note that a relationship isn't fully defined is when you both feel like you are close and somewhat dating but nobody asked the other out. As modern-oriented people, it doesn't become the sole responsibility of the male figure to be the one asking out or defining the relationship. Females, mostly feminists now believe that they could also ask out a person they like and some have even taken it up a step by even proposing to a man. While the African personality in yours does not agree with the move, lots of westernized-minded people feel it is a power move. 

Speaking on making the first move, whether being a feminist or not, it is not debatable on speaking out on who should speak out if you feel you are slipping into a situationship. A situationship is a new term coined to define an undefined relationship. Basically when one or both parties feel like they are in a relationship but there is this air of uncertainty as neither asked the other nor got a confirmation that they are officially together. This usually happens when they are attracted to each other, have good chemistry, and possibly have a great conversation where it feels like you both are open with each other. There is also a possibility that they get sexual with each other before they can know where they stand. A practical example of a situationship is called Friends with Benefits [FWB]. When two friends are benefiting from each other mostly sexually without there being  necessarily any relationship in place. This is very much common among young people and newly sexually active people. 

It is no news that 80 to 90 percent of young relationships/situationships have sex highly involved in them. Lots of people have stopped viewing sex or virginity as a big deal anymore, they feel it is a norm to have sex or be sexual with the person who you have feelings for. But as much as there is an urge to get sexually, it is important to know who you are getting involved with, to avoid getting used, played for a fool, or as Nigerians would say, to avoid see-finish. Above it has been discussed when there is a need to define a relationship, so below we would be talking about how to define a relationship. 

Communication, the power of the good old-fashioned heart-to-heart conversation can help. When the need to define a relationship comes up, turn off the steaming hot conversations and have a heart-to-heart conversation with the person. The feelings must be mutual to avoid ruining your rapport with that person. If you are or are not interested in him or her, let them know. If you are shy to voice out your feelings or you are scared of rejection or don't want to ruin the friendship because they are giving dating vibes. Just use this simple way to clear the air.

If you are interested in the person, here is how to get that person also interested in you. If you feel the need to define a relationship then there are already some sparks between you two so simply ride on that vibe. Firstly, try to get to know the person, ask questions that give you a wider perspective of the person, and check for red flags or turn-offs. Also, let the person know things about you, by also letting them see the real you, not just the flirting or sexual side of you. As you get to know the person, if there is real chemistry between you two, the feeling of wanting to date would become stronger and the shyness fades and one might just ask the other out. Now it is very easy to confuse lusting with actual true feelings, during the process of getting to know each other, the vibe might die off and the true feeling would be defined. Always communicate, before and during the relationship, it is important for the growth of any relationship.

Communication also happens to define a relationship with someone you aren't interested in but want to keep as a friend. Firstly if you are just flirting or being sexual with them to make someone jealous, to spark a reaction, or just for the fun of it, you have to stop it immediately. It is also not friend-like of you to do someone like that, friend or not. Tell the person your true feeling and also be sensitive to their feelings. With the kind of world we live in which has people, ambitions, and aspirations intertwined with each other, it becomes important to have fewer enemies. It is normal not to want everybody you talk to as a friend, but rather than string them along, clear any foggy conversation and remain acquainted with the person. 

Another way to determine a relationship is to evaluate what the person has to offer. A lot of youthful relationships are based on irrelevant things. Material gains are not a good standard to strike up a relationship. For a so-called woke generation, we tend to do the most stupid things in terms of relationships. It is very known that money does play a role in relationships, but once it becomes the deciding factor on which the relationship is driven then it becomes a damaging factor. In Nigeria, it is disheartening how people have come to accept internet fraud [AKA Yahoo] as a normal occupation but what is more heartbreaking is how it has corrupted the minds and thinking of lots of young girls in the society. In addition to doing yahoo, lots have had rituals as the means of getting money. Every quarter of each year for the past few years, the number of ritual killings has been on a steady increase. These alarming stats still don't discourage the streams of young people willing to participate in illegal means of making money. It should be a problem if the person you are getting acquainted with, you cannot tell the person's means of income or what the person does. 

It is great to know what a person you are getting close to has to offer but another important way to determine a relationship is by checking for red flags and things that compliment you. It is a universally known fact that nobody is perfect but someone can be perfect for you. This could be when you like the person's flaws and strengths, with the person feeling similar. In people, there are things we call red flags, this is turn-offs some people might find annoying. It is also important to know that what one person turns off might be another turn-on. So when reaching the stage where the relationship needs to be determined, it is important to check for red flags in the other person. This way you do not end up with the wrong person or write off a good person. Having pros and cons lists is tabulating the person's qualities and personality into a good or bad form. 

Concluding, not only do  relationships have to be determined but should be determined. This way, it reduces the possibility of having fake friends or likely betrayers. Communication, observation, and critical thinking can help to sieve out bad friends and bad relationships. Forgetting riding on the vibe, determine that relationship, that friendship, that acquaintance, and even that family relative that is drawing close. The majority of people that hurt you are people closer to you than far. From

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