This article might receive lots of backlash from feminist women who feel like learning how to keep a man is like them conforming to the idea that it’s a man’s world. But it is equally important to learn how to keep a man because, in the end, you might have to get married or be in a relationship. Keeping a man can both be hard and easy but it has factors that have to come into play to enjoy the relationship or marriage. Knowing how to keep a man deals with women particularly but the men also have a role to play because they could frustrate the woman’s efforts.
God, there are a lot of times when this is an odd feeling or blanks out the problem the woman feels towards the man, the first person she should run to is God. From the beginning when the man approaches her or she is getting feelings for the man, she should involve God to help direct her part right. Just because a relationship feels good doesn’t necessarily mean the man is the right one for her, she still has to make sure that she involves God in her dealings with the man that she is dating. Marriages go under lately because different entities have taken the place of God in the marriage. Women who have issues in their relationships feel it is wiser to seek the counsel of other women than God. Ironically, most of these women advisors are from broken marriages or don’t have plans of settling down. God plays a major role in the dealings of relationships or marriages.
Friendship is a very important thing to note before going into a relationship or marriage to make sure that you are friends with your partner. This friendship should have lasted for a while which would have helped you study the man and his character. Arranged marriage has the highest probability of crashing, this is because the two people entering the marriage are essentially strangers that are thrown into a potentially chaotic marriage. Even though people's timeline for friendship before marriage or relationship defers, it is only ideal for it to be an extended amount of, so you would avoid getting it wrong. A lot of things happen during friendship, people find out if they are compatible or not, some get or lose feelings and in all, mistakes that could have affected the relationship are avoided. Keep in mind that even while dating or being married, the woman should remain friends with her partner and there is a likely issue if they stop being friends.
Love is a no-brainer factor that helps a woman in keeping hold of her man. It is commonly known that no relationship or marriage can be successful if there is no love in the home. Importantly, the love should be mutually strong or there would be a disconnection between them. Loving doesn’t essentially mean that the couple couldn’t experience issues but it would be limited and resolvable. It is very not ideal for a woman to get into a relationship or marry a man who doesn’t love her or that she doesn’t love. In a lot of cultures, women are oppressed into getting entanglements with people she doesn’t love and in that case, it becomes hard in trying to keep the man. Another issue is when they start out loving each other and in the long run, they lose their fire, if she still truly loves him, she would find ways to reignite their flame. Love should concern the partners more and there should be an ultimate consideration when making decisions that could potentially affect the man or the relationship at large. External voices or ideas could be either good or bad but in all decisions, ask yourself whether it is in your or his best interest and note that not everybody wants the best for you.
Respect and submission, this is a delicate but important factor that has been the bedrock of some solid unions and the downfall of many more. With the rise of feminism in today's world, the notion has been twisted and tweaked that it makes a lot of men look like oppressors. True to the fact that men have been known to be quite domineering, it deals more with the background of the man and the foundation that has been before or to start the union. It's common knowledge that respect is reciprocal, so it is not idealistic that you should expect a man to have respect for you if you feel like it‘s downgrading for you to respect him. At the start of the relationship, there has to be mutual respect and understanding between the two partners. Being a feminist is essentially you trying to be treated with equal rights and opportunities as the male gender but African women are very guilty of selective feminism. Selective feminism is when a so-called feminist only picks the part of feminism that favors her. A lady wants the same opportunities as a man but feels the man solely must foot every bill, his money is their money but her money is her money. Submission is one role that is easily affected by external forces. Numerous unions have started with the woman being submissive but some lose that trait once they begin to maybe start becoming more successful than him. There are few women whose husbands could lose their source of income and she is the acting breadwinner but she remains submissive to the man.
Submission can never be forced and she has to feel it for her to respect or submit to their partner. Submission doesn’t necessarily mean the woman has to act like a fool for him but she must maintain respect. The woman has to guide this virtue carefully because there are always friends or family members who would feel that since the man isn’t pulling his weight around that time then he should be cast away. To keep her man, she should learn that there is a certain level of respect and submission that would make the union work.
Trust, it is said not can never work without an element of trust in the relationship. Without sounding biased, women can be known to jump to conclusions before having examined every fact. It is highly unwise to stay in a relationship comfortably if the trust between you two is dead or lacking. The woman has to trust her partner more than she trusts her friend, noting that though friends might be saying the truth, they might not always want the best for her. Always make sure the trust between the two of you is very strong, thereby not giving your partner reasons to doubt you. She should know things that her partner is capable of and things that are likely out of bounds for them. Also, keep an open mind because the man could have done the thing in question also. In all, trust in each other rather than others would help both of them to grow stronger together.
Communication is a huge way that a woman could use to keep her man. Not just normal communication but constant and deep communication, this way issues that the woman wants to talk about with her man, she can discuss it. Communication is key in every association but it is a key agent to the success of any union. There are times when communication would be low and irregular, if the woman is wise, she wouldn’t let the situation deteriorate before acting. Nagging your partner is a far cry from communication and it only helps to drive the situation even worse, so driving him further apart. A big issue causing miscommunications in the union is the referencing of others' opinions than that of your partner. It is only better for the relationship if you tell your partner firsthand information rather than refined truths. Something is amiss if there is a need to lie about things and should distance yourself from people who tell you to lie to your partner. A relationship or marriage begins to crumble when the people in the union stop having quality communication, by then they are usually talking to outsiders and mostly get wrong or one-sided advice. Women trying to keep their man must try their best not to nag him but to have civilized conversations with him. When he does something wrong, it is advised to discuss your displeasure with him and try to get on a level field with him rather than tell other people.
Limiting the influences of people around you, family or friends. We have friends and family who mostly wish you well but have some that are bent on your destruction. People with ulterior motives are usually the most cunning, it isn’t usually discovered until it is too late. Limiting the power you give people, not in the relationship with you could help to preserve the relationship longer. Family, friends, pastors, therapists, etc, are people who have the power to influence your relationship depending on the amount of power you give them to do so. It is not easy to detect those that want bad things for you, but you get easily misguided if you do not filter the advice given to you. As usual, ask yourself if the advice would be good for you and that person. This doesn’t mean that seeking external advice is bad but if it goes against your values and beliefs then it isn’t the best for you. There could be times that the issue might have come for the partner and he has put you in a precarious situation so you need a fresh perspective on the right action to take. In such a situation, the woman has to be very careful with who she tells and the sort of action she takes as the wrong action could cause more harm than rectify the issue. A common defect in marriages and relationships is the excess power that Christian women place on their pastors and ministers. It is very good to obey or respect men or women in such positions but not to the detriment of your union. Even the bible said that the head of the house is the man and not the pastor so be very careful not to confuse doctrine with religion because it won’t help the union.
In conclusion, keeping a man is just as much a job for the woman as the man but either could be the determining factor on why they stay together. The woman should never look down on or belittle her effect on the union, she plays a major role in their union. She also knows that not all relationships would eventually work out because if the man doesn’t play his part then her efforts would be futile. From ritrends.com.
📸 Jennifer Murray
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